@TheTweetOfGod: .@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.
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@JaneBadall: When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
@Jennuflect: Not tryin' to brag, but my sex life is like a dormant volcano. It was fiery, but now it's inactive. Also, I killed a bunch of villagers.
@Beatonm5: perfume should come with instructions like on medicine: Dab LIGHTLY on pulse points Do NOT marinade in event of overdose take shower