@Carbosly: Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty.
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@sameverlark_: Joe: Hey Barack, why does Trump wanna ban preshredded cheese Barack: Joe please Joe: TO MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN Barack: I swear to God
@SpeakComedy: Now remember kids; if a stranger offers you drugs say thank you because drugs are expensive ;)
@ValeeGrrl: Me: Ready for school? 7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost