@Carbosly: Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty.
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@fro_vo: Waiter: how were your steak and eggs Me: just okay Waiter: oh no Me: you could say they were Waiter: please no Me: *sips mimosa* meaty yoker
@BoogTweets: 911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY