@mrtruthandsoul: Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog
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@GavinProbably: Said "large" today at Starbucks, and everyone starting chanting "Venti, Venti, Venti!" and a mass suicide occurred.
@TweetsByTheTony: [ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E
@katta_IoIkatt: The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true.
@gabemakesmusic: I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming "That's not what I said!"