@TheTobbie: RIP is the LOL of dying...
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@roostermustache: Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to
@schlimp: *steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* "Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber" *turns coal into diamond*
@daemonic3: WIFE: OMG how did grandma's ashes get knocked off the mantel? ME: Actually I think it was- *cat makes throat slice gesture* -the wind