@rickygervais: RIP Ronaldo's Moth. The world's most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old.
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@TheBlessMess: Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.
@SlabBaconBP: I hate when I accidentally say "I love you" instead of "I'm biologically driven to want to reproduce with you & I'm temporarily delusional"