@briangaar: *rises out of ball pit* thanks for agreeing to meet me here
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@TheCiscoKidder: Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits.
@ClickBaite: [SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Bourgeoisie ME: Really? W o w JUDGE: *annoyed* Sir, the word is Bourgeoisie ME:*clears throat* Eff - U - See - Kay - U
@withanewname: [trick or treating] "Oh, what a cute little…what's she doing?" Me: potty training. "In my pumpkin?!" Me: She likes the heated seat.
@bourgeoisalien: PRESIDENT OBAMA: I pardon this turkey- TURKEY: Nope. I'm ready. 2016 was a shit show. Kill me now