@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...
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@CoopSoSarc: I saw this lady vogueing alone so I felt bad and started dancing with her. Anyone know sign language for 'Im sorry'?
@Vodkantots: I never said that I hated you! All I said is that I hope you have your period when the next Sharknado comes around.
@CourtneyBale: Bear of bad news: Hey, sport. You might wanna be sitting down. Ready? Oh god how do I put this? I'm gonna have to maul the shit out of you.
@WilliamAder: Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon.