@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...
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@AnkCoupleTO: PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you
@GrowlyGrego: *breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?
@JessObsess: I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude.
@MsNitnots: Girl in front of me on the bus just sent a text that was like a novel and the response was like a word and now even I'm pissed off about it.