@SondraDeeMe: Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
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@Rollinintheseat: My life is a constant battle of wanting to pet a dog and not wanting to talk to its owner.
@DudeImShawn: Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes.
@flashember: [1st Day after wildebeests take over] I'm safe in my house [Day 7] Thought I heard clattering [Day 21] THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES