@SondraDeeMe: Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
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@thatUPSdude: Me: Want some of my nachos? Coworker: I don't like nachos. Me: Hello 911, what's consider premeditated murder?
@aimlessamers: English, if I ran it: A group of geese is called a "group" A group of buffalo is called a "group" A group of catfish is called a "group"
@AndyAsAdjective: I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says "Shaved Ice"
@flashember: the CIA has been tracking me for years cuz they know i saw two sharks jump out of the water and hi-5 but i'd rather die than rat out a shark