@DurtMcHurtt: Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert.
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@JWilsonGA: Just saw my wife's tampon string hanging out while she slept. Not sure, but I bet if I lit her fuse she'd explode bigger than any firework.
@juliussharpe: You know it's not believable when six people rob a bank in a movie if you've ever tried to organize a dinner for six people.
@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys
@PrettiestPickle: Drinking game. Make the drunkest person in the room call in a Chinese food order. Every time they have to repeat themselves, take a shot.