@bourgeoisalien: [robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going
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@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.
@mayamanion: In my son's class they were talking about allergies, my son said "My mom says she's allergic to most other moms" Super