@ComedicBust: Robbing me is only a good idea if you're running low on ketchup packets.
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@ShesAllNat: Mattel is launching a new Twitter Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box
@murrman5: *walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? "my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"
@andreahardy33: Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward.
@chuchugoogoo: "Read 'em and weep" I say as I lay down my hand: a collection of my grandparent's handwritten love letters from WWII.