@SortaBad: Robin Thicke can't even name a second Robin Thicke song
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@TheBoydP: [work email] Me: Can I meat the new guy? Boss: Meet? Okay, sure... Me: Great! *hides bag of steaks*
@TheToddWilliams: [high seas] FIRST MATE: I can't wait to see my wife again PIRATE: Land Ho! FIRST MATE: Now look, that's a little rude
@ch000ch: call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call.
@theshantilly: 9: I'm writing a book based on a true story. Me: Make me look good. 9: FINE. I'll write something else.