@duplicitron: *robs craft store with hot glue gun*
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@SteveSuckington: [camping] "Dad I'm afraid a raccoon is gonna come in my tent and eat me" -don't be silly. It'll probably be a bear. Sleep tight.
@EJGomez: "dad mom wont tell me where babies come from" *dad slams newspaper down* DAMN THAT WOMAN & HER SECRETS *clenches fists* WHY WONT SHE TELL US
@TheAlexNevil: There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire.