@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Rock-a-bye-baby is my favorite nursery rhyme about the tragic consequences of putting babies in trees.
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@jenyb4: Um, hi. How much is the rent for this amazing apartment? Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.
@dumbbeezie: Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a "What's up" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream.
@murrman5: wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]