@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Rock-a-bye-baby is my favorite nursery rhyme about the tragic consequences of putting babies in trees.
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@TBH42: There was a time when men expected to be your lover without getting with your friends. That all changed in 1996. Let me tell you a story...
@iwearaonesie: wife: YOU changed the sheets?! [flashback to me eating nachos in bed after she told me not to and getting cheese everywhere] me: Surprise!
@davedittell: we need a cold and annoying genius type, who should we cast? [Benedict Cumberbatch claws at the office window] hmmm who to cast? [he meows]
@Flattliner: Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?