@007Rex_Inc: Role playing didnt go so well last night. She was the hot sexy teacher and I the rebel student..so I ditched class. Cause schools for nerds.
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@ProdigyNelson: Dad: relax kids, no monkey business in a nice restaurant [table over] Monkey 1: *slams briefcase shut, stands up* Monkey 2: not worth it man
@TheAlexNevil: I've made friends on Twitter I never would've met in real life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything less than $200.
@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so
@thenatewolf: *a man runs into the bar* "HELP HELP, IS ANYONE HERE COUSINS WITH BON JOVI?" *my date looks at me, I do nothing, my lies are now exposed*