@Brianhopecomedy: Role playing in the bedroom was fun until my wife gave me a speeding ticket.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@internetluke: [friend consoling me through bad break up] "You need to eat, Luke. You can't just sit there" *i start crying more* Karen & I used to eat
@notbedelia: If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat.
@gabemakesmusic: I once saw a road sign that said, "Slow Down, Small Children at Play" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children