@DanMentos: "Rolls Royce" is my favorite car that sounds like an Australian describing a sushi chef
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@ArfMeasures: CARPET SALESMAN: [sighing, handing me another sample] What about this one for your bedroom? ME: Hmmm no that one is also far too small
@JermHimselfish: I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people.
@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar