@BorowitzReport: Romney: "I have nothing but respect for women. I'm good friends with the owners of some."
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Show me a woman in a Tweety Bird t-shirt and I'll show you a woman who shoplifts in the grocery store.
@ibid78: [commercial] [man comes home after long day, opens front door and is attacked by 8 cats] MAN: There has to be a better way! Narrator: DOGS
@Not_a_JesusGirl: Playboy has started a new edition for married men with the same women featuring every month.