@CarpentersCrack: Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented "that sounds delicious".
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@DaddyJew: Son: you have a gray hair Me: it's a badge of honor Son: *looks at head* whoa, you're like some sort of super soldier Me: go to your room
@bfrosty04: I dont 'scrub up' like a surgeon after using the urinal because growing up, they taught us not to piss all over our hands n arms, you baboon
@Up2Long: I just did my budget for June. If I don't buy food ... I won't need toilet paper. I think I'm on to something here.