@pixelatedboat: Ronald McDonald kills millions of cows and he's the world's most beloved clown, but I butcher one and I "ruined your son's birthday party"?
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@KeetPotato: me: "i don't appreciate being laughed at" seaworld employee: "sir that's just the noise dolphins make"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who'd stare at her boyfriend while he's sleeping.
@kelkulus: What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!
@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"