@Ivsy01: Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Avril: I want a divorce. You aren't a sk8er boi. So see ya later boi. Chad: This is how you remind me of what I really am?!
@tastefactory: *spills wine on Ouija board* OUIJA: *moving pointer by itself* H-E-Y S-S-E-X-Y D-Y-O-O-U-W-W-A-N-N-A M-A-K-E O-U-T ME: *moves pointer to NO*
@truegritrumble: ME: I can’t believe he ruined my life. THERAPIST: Who? ME: *points at myself* This idiot.
@mactx85: I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch.