@Ivsy01: Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES.
@moose_chocolate: Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be.
@ericsshadow: My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots.
@mejustbeth: Ever since those 2 weeks in 2008 when no one noticed I was missing, I won't go into a corn maze without a machete.
@pixelatedboat: What I would do if I had a falcon
@ch000ch: request for a new client, your honor, i think this one's guilty