@Ivsy01: Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES.
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@catstronomical: him: what did you do all day? *steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together* Me: it's a purrrramid!
@carlyken: If you can't handle me getting arrested in my pajama pants at Walmart than you don't deserve me buying produce in my yoga pants at Target.
@pplwtching: Sober me: It would be convenient to have a urinal in my house. Drunk me: A urinal! *pees in sink*