@curiousteej: Roommate and I got our first electric bill and long story short we're now Amish
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@nbadag: [me as a passenger on the titanic] oh ewww are there olives in this salad? YOU be quiet lillian, i swear this trip cannot possibly get worse
@krisv_723: Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it.
@Reverend_Scott: [funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* "That's what... *gargle* ...she said." *dies again*