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@markydoodoo: [rooster sits down in barber chair]
Give me a cockadoodledo
@thisis_thatguy: I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake.
@jshires92: If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnaping?
@ventivodkacran: "I am as misquoted as Marilyn Monroe."
- Abe Lincoln
@TheBoydP: Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts...
@AndyAsAdjective: Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks.