@Manda_like_wine: Rose petals? Next time scatter something I can eat.
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@hoedeehoe: (1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators
@WilliamRodgers: "Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?" -Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...
@RichHarris2: Somebody called me a free spirit today and my heart leapt as I turned back to my paperwork.
@abbycohenwl: I'm training my cats to use the bathroom like people. It really works! [cut to bathroom: two cats do cocaine off the toilet tank]