@MorganJ7: Roses are brown,
Violets are brown,
Daisies are brown,
I'm a terrible gardener.
@BuckyIsotope: Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer
@NicestHippo: [getting fired from NASA]
Is it because I kept saying "Technically we're already in space?"
@thesulk: "Something in the way she moos / attracts me like no udder lover"
@shamans_heal: I've seen:
•A Two Headed Turtle
But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
@SwoonTwang: I don't have tinted windows on my car because if people don't like watching me dance, they can tint their own goddamn windows.