@BEEAAARR: Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone.
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@lazerdoov: Home Depot is having their "ultimate tool event" in case anyone wants to buy my cousin Tyler.
@SuperApple80: If I had a dragon, I’d be the coolest chick on my street for at least 45 seconds before everyone saw me fall off my dragon.
@jergarl: 1980: busy signal (I'm busy af) 1990: call waiting (hold on I'm busy af) 2017: voicemail (I declined your call to watch cat videos)
@_GoldieLox: STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!