@BEEAAARR: Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone.
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@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves
@EndhooS: [Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* "There has to be a better way"
@iGreenMonk: There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you.