@SimplyNamedTron: Roses are red, my real name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave.
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@MatCro: ME: Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back? GF: Yep M: [2 hours later] How did he reach the bit between his shoulders?
@BeingDBEAST: The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil...
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My heart goes out to all the parents who are about to see how much weight their kids have gained at college during the Thanksgiving break.