@SimplyNamedTron: Roses are red, my real name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave.
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@jngraphs: *Tweets funniest tweet ever *Dies laughing *Over 6 billion die laughing *Germany and Russia survive *Coz nobody left to explain the joke
@KalvinMacleod: [Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H...Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*
@plank_sinatra: My parents are pretty middle aged. "So? That's pretty norm-" *two knights bust in* "CHILD, DOST THOU REQUEST REFRESHMENTS FROM THE TAVERN?"