@M3lissaMcDonald: Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: The beginning is all romance & flowers, but after about 10 yrs it's mostly just checking each other's backs for suspicious moles.
@Mr_Kapowski: After incorrectly spelling my symptoms at least 100 times, WebMD kicked back "Listen idiot, you're drunk. Just go lay down"
@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.