@M3lissaMcDonald: Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
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@darkmatter_wimp: Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
@PaperWash: [stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations
@LookAwayMomDad: I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status.