@maellabelle: Roses are red. Wine is red. Poems are hard. Wine.
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@SaltyCorpse: The county is excusing our kids from school on eclipse day so they don't accidentally burn their eyes. I went to school with asbestos...
@Brentweets: Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk.
@InternetHippo: Health care reform is a tough sell politically. How do you campaign against health insurance companies, whom everyone loves
@jonny_is_good: Im the victim of an office bathroom power move. My guy used both air dryers to dry his hands while I just stood there like a wet handed fool