@goulcher: Roses are red, you always mattered,
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@causticbob: Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
@Mindless4Miles: I just want to be rich enough one day to name my kid after an Australian mammal or something found in my spice rack.
@markleggett: Clinton and Trump now enter the part of the election where they each have to spend a week looking after an egg with “America” written on it.
@ObscureGent: The most disappointing sentence in the human language is "This next song is off of our new album".