@Vice_Queen: Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid.
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@Tmoney68: Made a special running playlist that's nothing but zombie moans & shuffling feet. I've lost 20 pounds & can run a 4:30 minute mile.
@NickBossRoss: "Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Actually I think it was when you hit me with your car-" "WE GOT AN ANGEL OVER HERE!"
@rockymomax: [me as a doctor] ME: *delivers baby* congratulations NEW MOTHER: what is it ME: it's a baby idiot