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I don't like Russian dolls.
They are so full of themselves.
@nraymz: Drank two Monster Energy drinks and started my car by screaming at it.
@EdgarAllanLo: [Wendy and the Burger King having sex]
King: You like this?
Wendy: I'm loving it!
*the Burger King stops*
King: What did you just say?
@ilovepie84: I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said "I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"
@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
@ramblinma: "Please go play with your brother. That's basically the reason we had him."