@mzeld: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk.

@davedittell: prayers by believers to a "Sweet Jesus" imply additional deities: Sour Jesus, Salty Jesus, Umami Jesus and, most frighteningly, Bitter Jesus

@TheCatWhisprer: Sorry I hung up on you, I didn't mean to answer the call.

@PFitzpa: Please do not return empty candy wrappers to the dish. It leads to false expectations and uncontrollable rage.

@dlockw21: I definitely thought I would have shot the lock off of something by now in my life.