@BuckyIsotope: “Ruh roh” says Scooby as the cops pull the van over. Shaggy looks at the kilos of heroin in the back, sighs, and pulls out a machine gun.
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@Marlebean: *marshmallows *chocolate *graham crackers *lighter fluid *matches Cashier: "Going camping?" Me: "Nope" *wine *tampons
@gobmentcheese: In a crowded elevator, tell all the tall people they have to get in the back because you're going to take a group photo.
@Inferno_V: "Don't put your brother in the fridge" is something I never thought I'd say, yet here I am.
@Puncroaker: I think my wife is having an affair, for two years she claims to have been going to classes, yet still can't speak a word of Zumba.