@BadJordon: Ruin a hipster's day by telling them how commercial you think their favorite band has become.
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@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
@ericsshadow: If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out.
@Goofpoops: Watching movies with kids: If he/she hasn't seen it, eons and billions of questions. If he/she has seen it, eons and billions of spoilers.
@OpenClassMX: My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me.