@BadJordon: Ruin a hipster's day by telling them how commercial you think their favorite band has become.
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@Aspersioncast: If I've learnt anything from Zombie movies it's that people meat is pretty damn stringy.
@DirtMcTurd: One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together
@Schmoodles: Whenever I meet a guy named Paul, I ask if it's short for Paula, then I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & making friends is hard. :(