@BadJordon: Ruin a hipster's day by telling them how commercial you think their favorite band has become.
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@robdelaney: Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die.
@suntzufuntzu: Woman on the phone congratulates you for winning "Unknowing Android of the Year." "I'm not an android!" you protest. "Marvelous," she gushes
@aimlessamers: English, if I ran it: A group of geese is called a "group" A group of buffalo is called a "group" A group of catfish is called a "group"
@mllebeckyrose: I'm sorry I slapped you but you didn't seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.