@secondofhername: Rule: If thou has a Macbook, thou shall always taketh photos of objects with the Macbook in the background.
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@TheCiscoKidder: I caught my son wiping his boogers on the couch which is gross because I don't want our boogers mixing.
@EndhooS: [Opens hand sanitiser] ＳＵｂｍｉＴ ＹｏＵｒ ＳＯｕＬ ｔＯ ＥｔｅｒｎＡＬ ＨｅＬＬ ｆｉＲｅ [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN
@AaronFullerton: I bet the frankincense guy was all like, "Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."
@Sarcasmo718: When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts.