@AmishPornStar1: Rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
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@sixfootcandy: [family brunch] Sister: We'd love you to be our daughter's godmother. Me: No thank you. Please pass the syrup.
@brichie13: "Donatello choose ur weapon" "I'll take a stick" "Really not a sword? Nunchu.." "A STICK" "Ha I guess u wanna wear purple too?" "..." "Ugh"
@iwearaonesie: 9: Why are you hitting that spider? wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law [leaving] I don't have to take this
@ElleOhHell: Roses are red violets are blue celery is green bees are black and yellow please help me I can't stop pumpkins are orange satan is vermillion