@AmishPornStar1: Rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
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@pinupteacher: Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.
@TheAlexNevil: *horror movie "The calls are coming from inside the house!" "Can you find out from where? I want some chips but I'm too lazy to get up."
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Prominently display feminine hygiene products in your living space to let him know your eggs are still viable.
@Jenny4ashley: [gets pulled over for speeding] Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"