@ItsJennaMarbles: Running away doesnt help you with your problems, unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.
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@Ristolable: ME: Sorry boss, I can't make it in today. Because of Ebola. BOSS: You have Ebola? ME: No but someone does and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT
@jergarl: I'm ONLY remembering to drink fluids because you told me to. NOT because fluids are literally the only thing you CAN drink, KAREN.
@Donna_McCoy: You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving.
@iGreenMonk: I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist !