@AKcrazy18: Running away doesn't help you with your problems. Unless you're fat.
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@see_more13: When I explained Twitter to my mother she said, "Sounds like group therapy where no one's getting better." Well played, Mom. Well played.
@sarcasticmommy4: Kids: Yay! Summer break! Me: Look at this Back to School Countdown Calendar I’ve created. EVERYBODY GETS ONE!
@JDBooie: Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate.