@AKcrazy18: Running away doesn't help you with your problems. Unless you're fat.
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@ilovepie84: I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep
@radtoria: 1st baby: you make sure he's breathing every five minutes 2nd baby: someone replaced him with a ham in the crib and you don't even notice
@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.
@splashguts: I just purchased duct tape at the Dollar Store to fix all of the other shit I bought at the Dollar Store. Life is going exactly as planned.