@KateQFunny: Running out of time to be a Trophy Wife, so now just hoping to be an I Finished The Race Tshirt Wife.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shutupmikeginn: Don’t sweat it McGregor, after failing attempting the wrong sport you’re 8950% more likely to be asked to save the world by a cartoon bunny.
@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@KevinBuffalo: The best place to get pumpkins cheap is driving around the neighborhood at 4AM. Got 5 nice ones this morning.