@amishschool: * Runs Baywatch-style into oncoming traffic *
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@lazerdoov: I'm not saying I did terrible things last night but satan just woke up on my couch and he won't make eye contact with me.
@TwistedEmbrace: I get 9" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable.
@Dawn_M_: I will let someone cut the line I'm waiting in, but only if they let me braid their hair from behind.
@TheAlexNevil: You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed.