@amishschool: * Runs Baywatch-style into oncoming traffic *
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@NicCageMatch: Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
@hippieswordfish: everyone's always asking me 'is your son named after the movie?' and I'm like no idiot Sharknado's 5 yrs old and the movie came out in 2013