@Ivsy01: *runs thru a couple holding hands like it's the finish line of a marathon.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DuaneABarrett: Just overheard someone say, "I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries." You know. Like a book.
@hippieswordfish: ME: i thought i saw a new color today WIFE: wait- is this..are you.. M: but it- W: oh no M: was just- W: dont M: a pigment of my imagination
@StayNobody: What can I get you to drink? "Pepsi" Is Peps- Uh one moment please [In kitchen, to manager] I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?
@KeetPotato: dude at house party: "anybody here wanna bone?" girl: "ew" girl 2: "no way" girl 3: "never" dog: "i am very interested in your offer"