@birbigs: Russian skater just explained that he is "not a robot," proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics
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@BallsMcBallski: Me: Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Neighbor: If you don't stay out of my heating duct I'm calling the cops.
@lazerdoov: Gramma gramma gramma gramma gramma chameleon she's old and cold she's old and coooooold
@SaraMansford: So I called up the Captain, please bring me my wine. He said: "ma'am, this is a cruise. Please don't call me again if there's no emergency"