@GrandadJFreeman: :S :C :H :O :O :L - You can't find happy faces.
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@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She thinks I make bad decisions "He picked a fight with a raccoon" HE LOOKED LIKE A CRIMINAL, KAREN
@Femi_17: Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up
@shutupmikeginn: Using the domino's pizza tracker app seems like a great way to carjack someone you know isn't going to put up that much of a fight