@maebemarbles: Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
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@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
@KalvinMacleod: [date] HER: no more Scooby Doo imitations ME: ok WAITER: today's special is baby octopus ME: [Shaggy voice] zoinks HER: I’m done ME: ruh roh
@GreyDeLisle: I'll never be as horrified as the kid who suddenly realizes they've been following the wrong "mom butt" at the grocery store.