@SaraMansford: Sad that at 36 I have yet to experience the dirty dancing lift. If it doesn't happen by 40 I'll just start running at random strangers.
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@Stellacopter: I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
@dildointherough: Dating tip: Photoshop yourself into some of her selfies. Women love guys who are good with computers.
@ilovepie84: I only shave half my face in case that I get arrested so that they will have two different side profile pictures.
@realHamOnWry: I'm still not sure how the church expects me to do all that kneeling and standing and praying on just that one little wafer they feed you.