@_emilyoram: Sadiq's joke in today's Time Out 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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@SondraDeeMe: [first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.
@TheAlexP: Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell "Thank You "just to leave them hanging.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my greatest strength is giving people clever nicknames. QUESTION ASKER MAN: and how is this a skill that will help you here?
@SteveAmiri: July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them.