@gerryhallcomedy: Sadly learned my family is racist. I started dating a black girl. Brought her home to meet the family. Wife and kids wouldn't talk to her.
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@daemonic3: "Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight" - The Swiss Army
@1BigMick: When I drop my son off at school I do one arm pushups at the entrance to let the other dads know that's what's up. But they're all at work.
@osigat: People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.