@DaddyJew: Safe sex is stupid. Safes can't get pregnant.
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@TheRolo: [1st date] Her: I love quail Me: Omg me too! H: Love Cher M: Omg me too! H: Love men Me: Omg me too! H: Love Pepsi M: WTF is wrong with you?
@jackmackenroth: I was out with my bf and a waiter called me a 'cradle robber' cuz he's 18 and I'm 43. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary.
@Dishy2101: Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.