@Gwinifer: Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops.
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@anylaurie16: Chelsea Clinton charges $65,000 for a 10 minute speech. How many times has her husband said, "Honey, I can’t afford to hear about your day.”
@ProdigyNelson: Bouncer: ID please Me: I got socks for Christmas Bouncer: …okay Me: and I'm genuinely happy about it Bouncer: so sorry come on in
@DistractedMomma: My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country.
@duplicitron: Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears.